The MOST powerful piece of parenting advice you’ll ever need

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Everyday we are overwhelmed and bombarded with advice.

Do this, don’t do that, how could you even consider doing that, why haven’t you done that already?

The need for labels over which parenting style you align with or the need to choose sides – black or white, for or against, pro or anti, this or that – it’s honestly no wonder parents have such a hard time sifting through all the bloody noise.

So, what is the best way to drown out the noise? Well, let’s get to it. I believe this is the most powerful piece of parenting advice you will ever need…

And that is to simply tune in to what feels good for you

I don’t have time for complicated. I don’t have time for labels or choosing sides. I hang out in the grey. There is no black and white in parenting world. I’d rather be spending my energy tuning in and listening to what feels good for me and my family

Just as a sidebar, when I say there is no black or white, we KNOW there are ultimate wrongs when it comes to children, of course abuse and neglect of any kind is a HUGE NO. But, what I am meaning is that there are varying shades of grey when it comes to what is right. What works for your family, won’t be the same for others. That’s the spice of life!

But I choose to keep it simple. I choose to silence the noise. I choose to unsubscribe, unfollow, mute and not engage in conversations that don’t serve me or my family’s highest good.

We have been led to believe that our own voice is not to be trusted, and I call BS on that. We need to learn how to go inward and ask ourselves… is what I am doing with my kids, how I am behaving, how I am communicating feeling good? Am I proud of it? This goes for the everyday routines, the monotonous stuff, the super fun stuff and literally everything in between.

Can I hover up above my day, heck even my afternoon (when it’s one of those days) and say “yes this feels good, I’m doing a good job with my kids, I trust myself, I’ve got this”

It doesn’t mean it’s perfect, or that I’m perfect.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t drop an f-bomb or lose my cool, or say something I truly don’t mean or that I don’t get angry when it’s the 197th time my 2-year-old has hit his sister today… but I know that is the minority of the time. I know that when I give myself a chance to gain perspective, that most of the time I am feeling good.

I lean into this idea daily. What does feel-good parenting that look like, sound like and feel like for me? It gives me permission to listen and tune in to what my intuition is telling me. I know, very deeply, what feels good for me and because of that I can truly learn to trust myself as a parent – when I trust myself, my kids know they can trust me too.

Let’s get real for a second here…

This week alone, hubby and I had to peel it riiiiiight back. A few days during the week, our 2.5-year-old was experiencing BIG emotions, he became really escalated and overwhelmed by literally everything. The yelling, screaming, demanding and hurting his sister was spiralling out of control.

I felt myself in a constant state of bubbling (because parents have nervous-systems too) where I was very easily tipped into yelling mode – and I am not a yeller. Then hubby was feeding off my energy, so we were both escalated dealing with the behaviours pouring out of our son. It was a lot. ‘Cos parenting can be a lot sometimes.

Anyway, because of this the behaviours got worse – no duh! I ended up getting really cross one night and we had to take a breather. It was a big learning moment for us both. We’ve never really gotten to this point with our parenting before, we are usually a great team and know when to tag in and out with each other.

The next day we had to hash this out and peel it allllll right back to basics. We came back to the #1 FACT, that out of the four of us, we are the adults with the developed brains.

The kid’s chaos cannot be met with our chaos, it has to be met with our calm.

They have to know that we are the unswayable, safe and strong parents who have got them regardless of what behaviour is being unleashed. We’ve put a few other things in place on a logistical level too, so we can avoid reaching this peak again any time soon, we don’t want this to be our default setting.

Like I said, big learning! I knew I felt utterly CRAP about how we were parenting. I know better, my husband knows better but we are also human, we had reached our capacity. So, we gave ourselves a big dose of compassion and love and drew a line in the sand and started fresh. We sat with the kids to apologise and repair.

It was a game changer, things calmed again. We were able to meet our little man’s chaos with love, calm and a good dose of boundaries – the things we know works for him, but temporarily had misplaced because life.

I know that threatening, bribing, punishing and yelling doesn’t feel good for me, it doesn’t get me the outcomes I want, and it sure as heck doesn’t make my kids feel-good either.

So this idea of feel-good parenthood, is not just about me and hubby. It’s more than that, the flow on effect is untold. It’s about raising kids who feel-good too, about their relationships, lives and experiences. That’s not to say that our kids don’t feel sad or upset or peeved off when we put a boundary in place right. But overall I know, at this point (where there is so much that can be controlled because little people, little problems) that they are kids that feel-good about life.

So, can you hover up above your home and feel-good about your parenting? Does it feel right? What is your inner wisdom telling you right now?

If you’re feeling good, celebrate the heck out of that!

If you aren’t, then this is your moment to step up and LEARN the things to do better for your family. What do you need to do and learn and implement to do better? When we know better we can do better. 

You absolutely have what it takes to own this parenting thing. You don’t have to subscribe to the mum-guilt or the “parenting is always hard” crap. Tune out of the noise and into your inner wisdom, your voice and learn to flex that! That is literally your super power.

If you want more feel-good in your life, get in touch! Become a parenting powerhouse with easy behaviour busting techniques! Find out how we can work together here!

Founder of The Parenting Edit

Hey parents!

I’m Courtney, child-wrangler, sometimes parent-wrangler, sleep & behavioural specialist, and instigator of The Parenting Edit. And helping stressed and exhausted parents get their parenting swagger back? I live for it.

With a family-first approach, I take what you give me and work with it to get your family back to sleep. You’re guaranteed to feel supported and heard during our time together.

Let me know what you’re struggling with and let’s book you in!

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